40. I never told you this, but..

I bought a card for you and I've lost it. It had koalas on it, I think it fell out of my bag or someone took it. It made me sad. Today I missed you a lot whilst I was walking around New Zealand. It feels longer than a week that I've been away. I sit and think about how things were just before I left and how unsettled I felt when I arrived in Australia. About what happened between us and the week before I left how you wanted to just be alone. It's hard to imagine being in London now feeling how I felt that week, being far away makes things so much clearer. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I sit and think about what you're up to and how you're feeling about everything. I sit and wonder what it will be like when I return and I get a pang of nerves in my stomach.