23. I never told you this, but..

I've got the blues today.

I'm listening to this, and it makes things a lot better.




Contenders for the 'Reason of Blueness' Award:

Drinking alcohol at the weekend. (I had a lot of fun, just that Tuesdays end up like this sometimes)
Awkwardness of being in this flat when I have told them I'm leaving. I hate this feeling and in the past is why I just run away from flats or jobs without warning, to avoid people's reactions to my departure.
Spending nearly 9 hours a day in a cold (literally and figuratively) office which nothing to put my brain too. I don't like saying I don't like it there.
Still a heavy sadness about my Ma and Pa and the disappearance of the sturdy family I used to rely on. There is nothing I can do about this.
Feeling like I have so much to do that I end up doing none. This is irrational and based on exaggeration. Nonetheless, as Anne taught me, if I am feeling something, it's valid no matter what it is.

I see the future being a little like this:
Living at Kingswear Road
Working in a different slightly more interesting admin job
studying for counselling course
running for 10km
organising jumble as a team
cycling most places, including to work
eating healthy meals for you, and cooking to take to work
Amsterdam, Glastonbury, Liverpool, Spain

I'm not a million miles away. Maybe a thousand. But that's closer than I've ever been. So it's good. Great, in fact. It's all Great.